I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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