worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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