Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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