Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize