Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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