He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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