either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
