you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
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Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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