dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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