It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Someone came in the potted fern
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize