woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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