Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
