I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
