Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
