Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
