Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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