Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize