she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
