I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
