We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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