Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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