you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
