This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
