hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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