we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
