My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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