Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
They have beer where we have blood.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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