yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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