My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
