We won't sleep together?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
