There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
