I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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