Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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