she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
