So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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