Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
