In America we eat man semen.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize