Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
