Kareoke will never be a sober sport
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
