i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
