Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
