Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
