my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
