I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
