Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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