he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize