i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
