these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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