i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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