If i come over, it means nothing
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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