this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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