Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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