Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
