Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
