Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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