i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
