He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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