Kiss
Puke
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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