So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
