I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
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I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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