if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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