You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
