Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time