Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
