why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
