You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
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that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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