I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
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I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
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but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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