Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
this will be a night to untag.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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