I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize