yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
