I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
