You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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