people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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