Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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